Uni-mode

Uni-mode (university mode) is a state of mind, body and soul. It occurs when an individual is faced with three factors: prolonged exposure to university related stress, a forgiving schedule (days off, late classes etc) and assignment deadlines looming. The paradox of uni-mode is that it represents ones inability to focus on one thing because many things loom.

An individual stuck in the confines of uni-mode is susceptible to a variety of symptoms: writer's block, severe procrastination, being completely unaware of what day it is, and an inability to plan. Days fly by. You can't fall asleep at night, you can't wake up in the morning. You sacrifice meals, bathing, shaving and the selection of clean clothes. You can't study anything because you have to study everything. You spend hours working but have little to show. I feel uni-mode looming.

Over my days at uni I have discovered a few tricks to battle this affliction. The real key is to catch it early and nip it in the bud before it consumes you. Never accept it. If it goes on too long the papers will suffer. Highly effective methods to combat uni-mode are the creation of lists, studying at the library (too many distractions at home, like blogger), exercise, and avoidance of alcholol; All of which I have yet to implement but fully intend to. I will put it on my list.

I have a month and a half to write 4 papers; a manageable task if I can avoid getting sucked into the abyss that is uni-mode.

London

Click here to see Photos.
Although I spent most of reading week reading, a strange concept for a Brock grad, I still wanted to have some fun. We decided to visit London this past weekend. We were fortunate enough to have a standing invitation at Mark's place, a fellow VSO volunteer from Kenya whom I had met during my volunteer days there. As always, Mark was a gracious and inspiring host. Whenever visiting Mark I always leave having a renewed sense of myself and what I should be doing. I think it is because he is so passionate about his passions.

Anyway, we had a chance to see some sights while in London. The Tate Modern a museum of modern, contemporary art was by far my favorite. I love 'modern art'. "Wierd for the sake of wierd", to quote Moe from The Simpsons. There was a huge crack in the floor, a urinal on its side, a bunch of benches with maps on them painted grey, an armour with a chair shoved in it and filled with concrete and a florescent light running diagonally across the wall. Great stuff that I don't really understand. But thats the best part: no one does. It's art because they say so and for that you appreciate it. You can make whatever you like of it or what it implies or what it makes you think or do.

We also went to camden market, St Paul's cathedral, buckingham.... all that stuff. Its weird hanging out in a city that is so old.

First duty as class rep

I am one of two class representatives for the ICT4D program at the uni. I'm not sure exactly what I have to do, I will read about that later, but in brief I am the proxy between students and staff. I apparently represent the interests of students in our program at meetings and such, I also talk to program coordinators about our course, etc.

My first order of business: rat out a teacher for plagiarism. It turns out that a teacher (a doctor I might add) lectured us for 3 hours; all of which was completely plagiarized from one of a single author's published works. Quite a bad job of it too, she even copied the spelling mistakes; a dead give-away. A very big no-no for any academic, including students. Mostly students.

We had an entire session at the beginning of the year on plagiarism and its extreme severity, especially at the masters level. If found blatantly plagiarizing you will be punished very severely; most likely expelled. Pretty, pretty, pretty harsh [larry david voice].

It will be interesting to see what happens. I will keep you posted [pun intended]. I should note that this is quite an exception, most teachers I have are absolutely brilliant and thoroughly inspiring..... except of course this one........and maybe one more.

When in England....

We have been busy lately soaking up some English culture; what a jolly time.

2 weekends ago we took the train to Liverpool. It was a pretty cool place to visit, we visited museums, went on a double decker city bus tour and saw some Beatles sites. My favorite, by far, was going to the Cavern. Its the birthplace of the Beatles, a small pub in what is now called the Cavern District of central Liverpool; basically very narrow streets with lots of bars.

The Cavern is this tiny basement bar which has been mostly converted into a rock and roll shrine to the Beatles and everyone else who has played there strictly for nostalgic reasons: Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi....... Bryan Adams?!? It was pretty cool.

Last weekend we saw our first football (soccer) match. It was nuts! Manchester City vs Middlesborough. There was non-stop chanting and singing and taunting all game long. The supporters of the other team were kept separate from everybody else; for good reason. Security guards lined the entire section beyond the fencing and their portion of the parking lot was fenced off and heavily guarded by horseback officers. Supporters of opposing teams are physically unable to come in contact with one another...... and people tell me that hockey is violent.

Anyway, City won 3-1. I still have not decided which team to support, Manchester United, or Manchester City. I will see it the United fans can impress.

Things that make me curse

Moving to Manchester has offered a unique learning opportunity, not just a Masters degree in ICT4D, but also lessons in how British businesses are conducted. I am fine-tuning a valuable managerial skill-set in British business strategy, which I will offer as a consultant to anyone in North America looking to gain the British edge. Here are some pointers…

1. If your customer poses any problem that requires you assist them, for instance they did not get their package, they want to purchase your service or just a general inquiry you can do any, or all, of the following things:

1. If they call you make them wait on hold for 1 hour (if they are on a mobile phone it will be much more effective)
2. If they are stupid enough to wait on hold get them to talk to a complete moron with no training. Have that idiot hang up on them ‘by accident’. The trick is to let the employees get away with it so there is no possible recourse within the company. The customer can just call back and have the same thing happen four times (see a for what will happen to that customer).
3. Demand that the customer have a UK visa card and say that ‘International Cards just don’t work’. Claim that nothing can be done without a UK credit card. Tell the customers that those commercials claiming that “Visa is accepted everywhere” are actually false; everywhere except England.

2. If a customer wants to purchase your product:

1. Get them to help themselves as much as possible. From a business perspective this is easier and cheaper. In a restaurant for instance: make the customer find their own seat and menu, then have them seek you out to make their order and demand that they know their own table number. Unfortunately this will not get your staff any tips, but who gives a shit anyway, not your problem.
2. Make the process as difficult as possible. If it’s a bank account they are seeking, make it a four-step process that takes 12 business days to complete. Then make whatever demand you wish of them like “you must deposit 2000 pounds to open your account”. When the customer says that they need their account to conduct other business refer them to #1 above.
3. If possible, make them wait in a long line. The longer the better, then when they are close threaten to close the store so they feel like you are doing them a favour by actually selling them anything.
4. Appear to make it look simple by promising to deliver their purchase to their house. Take their money and then don’t deliver it.

3. Sales tactic: Make your services and products as complicated as possible. Confuse your customer so much that when they hear the word ‘Simplicity’ they whip out their cards to make a purchase (just make sure it’s a UK card).
These tactics appear to be quite effective so long as all companies engage in them; having a monopoly helps (BT). This way, customers come to expect it and rarely question your tactics. They will simply claim that it’s just the way things are done.

Not just because I fear Al Gore

I am now an environmentalist.

Not that I was not before, I have always been concerned about the environment and global warming and all that crap; ever since grade 6 when we attended a week long hippie training camp a.k.a. Durham forest. I like David Suzuki, I take public transit and I am even afraid of Al Gore. Although lately it has become a bit mainstream, I’m really still a tree-hugging hippie at heart. Here in England I am a bonofied tree-hugger for one simple, new reason; it is the first time I have ever had to pay for utilities. The estimates provided are through the roof and energy conservation is not as popular and trendy here. They say that we will spend 15-20 pounds per week each. That is 160 pounds per month, over 320 dollars?!?!?! As soon as I realized this I started noticing inefficiencies in our apartment that must change for the good of the planet [wink], thanks Dave the energy guy for your insightful tips on Breakfast Television a few weeks ago; I was taking notes.

Inefficiencies and solutions:

1. Halogen lights are all over the apartment (17 actually). Sure they look nice but they give off a lot of heat, which is nothing but wasted energy. As I am not an electrician I’m not sure what I can do about fixing this problem, aside from sitting in the dark. My computer screen playing the latest Die Hard movie will act as a good light source for now.
2. The showerhead is this huge trickler. It sure it looks nice but for any pressure whatsoever you need to crank it. I think I can figure out how to replace it with an energy-efficient one, but that would take effort. I think I may join the gym across the street and just shower over there.
   
3. I will hang my clothes to dry. Yes we do have a energy/dollar consuming dryer, but fortunately for us it is a useless piece of shit British dryer that does not work (like everything else in this country...more on that later as I explain the sharpness of the culture shock curve in England. The only really shitty thing is that clothes take forever to dry in a climate that does not see sunshine and rains all the friggin time.
   

enjoy the unrelated photos of Peder and I on Greenwich hill (the beginning of time) and of Sarah and I in the giant wheel thing that all British cities seem to have (at least the ones I have been to so far).

1. 

Amsterdam

What else can I say…. Amsterdam. What a place!

Ever since I was a little troublemaker I have felt an attraction to visit this place; it’s like Mecca for potheads. As an adult I have mostly cast away my youthful pothead ways, after all it is quite irresponsible and so holistically unproductive. There are of course exceptions to life’s rules, one of which of course came on my pilgrimage to a previous life’s Mecca. (notice in the picture the Grasshopper [wink] and right beside it Tasty Bites. Coincidence? No way!)

After some 2 euro Stellas (they are the cheap beer there, go figure lakeport) we walked into this café to find some guy sitting in a booth behind a glass window, not unlike a movie theatre. The menu is on the wall behind glass, which is lit up at the push of an abnormally large button. Once one has made a selection one would proceed to the guy in the widow to make ones order and he hands over to that individual what in any other country would get one arrested. At this point customers are free to have a seat in the café and consume their purchase.

As some saying goes “when in Rome…..” well, I justified my participation with a similar saying, something like “when in Amsterdam…..”. This was pretty entertaining to say the least, almost as much as the absynth I drank later; yes the stuff which cause Van Gogh to chop his own ear off. My night was capped off by a tasty treat know as “space cake”. I will forever remember (somehow) the cake experience and cringe just a little every time I reach for a brownie. Hunter S. Thompson eat your heart out.

The Red Light District is one small trouble filled corner of an otherwise beautiful peaceful European city. It is here that you find the cafes, red lights and sketchiest of lone-travelers. Our hotel was just on the outer part of the district, so much so that when we sat out back of the hotel on the patio we were looking down upon a small ally with about 8 little doors all with corresponding red lights. There was hardly a minute when single men were not wandering down the dead end ally to check out what was for sale only to turn around once they reached the end and continue browsing. It was quite entertaining for us to look down and see this going on all from the comfort and safety of our hotel. The fact that legal prostitution exists is both intriguing and disgusting but above all is an indication of the progressiveness of the Dutch. Despite its disturbing surface, I think it beats the black market.

Besides the bad stuff, Amsterdam has much to offer. It is such a beautiful city with countless canals where you really get a sense of being in Europe. We walked the city, had lunch on the street, went to the Van Gogh museum and of course toured the Heineken factory. It was a quick two day trip that I wish was longer, but in retrospect it is probably better that is wasn’t. I must say, I loved Amsterdam but it should be a while before I return again.

Assumptions/Corrections

I have made it to jolly England. A few immediate observations that have more or less confirmed some expectations/assumptions I hade before coming here and their subsequent corrections:

1. There is a pub on every corner. Well I don’t know about every corner as I have only seen the corners in my immediate vicinity, but so far every corner I can see has 4 pubs. This is the view from my apartment window. (in case you can't see the sign it is 'the pub')



2. The weather sucks. I have been here one day and so I must not jump to any conclusions, maybe I caught Manchester on a bad day, but so far I have not seen the sun. Some locals that were on the plane sitting beside us were sarcastically saying (at least I think this is what they said, with those accents who the hell knows. See #3) “welcome to Manchester, hope you brought your raincoats” and “Mommy, can we stay in Canada for the nice weather?”…...What?!?! I have never heard anyone say that before. Not a good sign but I will remain optimistic. At least it should be dry inside the pubs……well…

3. British accents are lovely. If you can understand what the hell they are saying it is only because they know they know they are talking to a foreigner and are purposefully slowing it down and enunciating for us. Otherwise, who knows?

4. The British systems are efficient and easy to access. Don't even get me started. Banks, Cell phones, Internet connection, gym memberships, Intersections......ah! More on this later.

Good to go

Ok, I'm all set for England. The plane leaves in a few hours I can finally say that I think everything is settled. We even managed to find time to buy a new camera! I can finally start to get excited about moving to Europe as the last few weeks have kept me busy. I don't actually start school until the 25th of September so that means lots of relaxing for the first 3 weeks; I need it. The plan is to fly over to Amsterdam for a little holiday and also get down to London to see whats what.

This is a big move and a big step, so naturally I'm super pumped. I live for big steps.

Damn Banks

I have mostly taken for granted the fact that I would be able to obtain sufficient funding for school next year; I assumed that banks would be more than willing to lend me money. Thats what they do! They give you money, you pay them interest, its simple. My ideal 'product' is a student line of credit where I can borrow what I want, use what I need and am only obligated to make monthly payments just on the interest until I am finished school. Even with my mother as a co-signer, I am only eligible for $10,000. Thats all great except for the fact that my tuition is 11,000 pounds! ($25,000 CDN). Other banks don't have a $10,000 limit but won't lend to students attending school outside of Canada. After several polite 'F--- you's I am still optimistic but am quickly running out of banks. I suppose the road less traveled is such for a reason; it's not easy. And I haven't even left home yet.

new adventure starts here

In an earlier adventure I spent 8 months in Africa, mostly Kenya, but I made my way around. New adventure = new blog, I guess. At least with this new title I'm not so limited as to where I can update it from. That was what caused me to so sharply stop blogging when I came back; the inappropriateness of claiming to be in Kenya while writing from Canada. Have a look here if you are interested in previous ramblings.

Anyway, my new adventure will begin in September when Sarah and I will fly off to Manchester, UK for concurrent but unrelated Masters degrees. This is what I will be studying; an attempt to leap back into the development sector. I like using semicolons but I'm not sure if I'm using them correctly. Oh well, something to look into; I'm sure the Brits will be able to help me in my command of the English language.